Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
