Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
