you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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