oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize