Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
NoShamevember. You game?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
