that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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