So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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