i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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