I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
