i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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