i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
