What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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