Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
