ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize
