Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
