Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
