I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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