jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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