Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
