He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
