I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
