Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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