margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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