people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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