I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
