fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
