God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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