garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
