This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
