Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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