Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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