i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
