imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
