Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
