If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Couch. On fire.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize