I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
