People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
