My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
