oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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