oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize