He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
