i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
