This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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