I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
