so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
