You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize