I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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