in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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