Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
