I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
