Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
