Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
