Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dick very happy bro
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
