Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
