A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize