Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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