I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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