He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
