Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
