I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
