The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
